“We hate menopause; we don’t understand it, and left unexplained, to us, it’s like a monster!” They say.
Menopause has been a difficult enough topic to talk about within our black African ethnic minority women before even bringing the men in. And so much effort has gone into and still is being made to break this crippling culture of silence and demystify menopause for the women that we ran so hard, focusing on the women that I think we forgot and left the men behind. We must break down barriers and promote inclusivity because while menopause is commonly associated with women, it’s equally important for our men, to understand it, understand how it affects women and how they can support us as we transition in and beyond it. Menopause isn’t just a women’s issue; it’s a family matter. Relationships and marriages are suffering from a lack of knowledge.
We had the privilege to hear from the (black African) men’s perspective at our Annual October (Menopause Awareness Month) conference. To them, menopause is a mystery and a dreaded monster that they do not understand. Growing up and even through their adult life, no one ever spoke to them or prepared them for the change that menopause brings. The African man was never encouraged to focus on women’s issues. So when menopause comes, they are just as thrown off without a clue on why things have changed and sometimes so drastically.
The men want in; they want to know more. They also want to be asked how they feel and be able to express their fears and worries for their loved ones. They watch, helpless and confused, as their loved one struggles through the change - most times changing the relationship dynamics. The men are saying that they want to be involved. The women are saying they want their men to know more. Marriages are at risk of breakdown, leading to divorce. When our men understand menopause, they can provide emotional support and create an environment where their partners feel heard and valued. This support can significantly ease the physical and emotional challenges that menopausal women face.
Let’s actively work at bringing our men on board:
· Education about menopause empowers men to recognise and address potential health issues. Menopause can bring about symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, and sleep disturbances. By understanding these symptoms, men can encourage their partners to seek medical advice when necessary.
· In most of our African cultures, discussing menopause is unheard of. Men can play a pivotal role in breaking this stigma by openly discussing menopause and its challenges. This can contribute to being more inclusive and empathetic.
· Menopause can affect a woman’s mental health, leading to conditions like depression and anxiety. Men who are informed can identify signs of distress in their partners and are encouraged to seek professional help if needed.
· A lack of awareness about menopause can strain relationships. Misunderstandings and conflicts may arise due to the changes women experience during this time. Educated men can navigate these changes effectively, leading to stronger and healthier relationships.
· Understanding menopause helps dispel stereotypes and misconceptions. Men can become advocates for gender equality in healthcare and champion the need for tailored menopausal care for all women.
The risks of not educating men from the Black African community about menopause are significant. It can lead to strained relationships, divorce, unaddressed health issues, and perpetuate gender disparities in healthcare. We can create a more compassionate and inclusive society by fostering open conversations and promoting awareness. Let’s work and stand together regardless of gender.
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