The Womanhood Nobody Prepared Me For.
- Vonayi Nyamazana
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
Tete never told me this part.
At 12 years old, my tete (aunt) sat my sister and me down for what she called the “becoming a woman session.” I remember how seriously she took it—sharing stories, warnings, and instructions. She explained about periods (menstruation), taught us how to stay clean, and firmly warned us to steer clear of boys. According to her, this was the milestone that defined us as women. That was it.
And for decades, I believed her.
I moved through life period after period, pain after pain. Cramps that sometimes sent me to the school sick bay. The tears. The painkillers. The dread of that time of the month. But I coped (didn't we all?). I was told it was normal. It was womanhood.
Then came the 40s. That’s when the rhythm started to change. My cycle—so familiar, like clockwork—suddenly became unpredictable. Missed periods. Heavy periods. Strange mood swings. Bloating. Brain fog. Was I pregnant? Was I sick? No one had told me this was part of the journey.
Then came the night sweats. The tiredness. The disappearing libido. It was confusing, lonely and frightening. That’s when I realised: tete never told me about this part.
She had given me a solid introduction to womanhood, but no one prepared me for this season. Perimenopause. The hush-hush part of womanhood. The stage cloaked in silence and shame in many of our communities.
Where was tete to guide me through this too?
The truth is, many women like me—especially in my black African Community—are walking through perimenopause and menopause unprepared. In silence. But it’s time to break that silence.
If tete isn’t here to tell us, then let us be that voice for one another. Let’s talk. Let’s share. Let’s stop whispering about menopause and start empowering each other through it.
Because womanhood doesn’t end with a period. There’s more to the story. And every woman deserves to know the next chapter.
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